Three sets of paradoxical needs that drive us

Three sets of paradoxical needs that drive us

Three pairs of paradoxical needs drive human life: Certainty and uncertainty; individuality and connectedness; having and giving. Most of us get tossed between these paradoxical needs because when one need is satiated, the other is starved. Then, you focus on satiating the latter, only to end up starving the former.
First paradox: Certainty provides order. Uncertainty provides growth. Both order and growth are needed to complete life. And, that's the first paradox. You want certainty . So, you try to achieve certainty by trying to control everything around you. Now, when your life becomes completely certain, when things become predictable, you become bored. That's why you lose interest in a work that you know you can handle.
So, while you want certainty , you simultaneously also want a certain amount of variety , which comes only out of uncertainty . You need surprises and challenges for you to feel fully alive. Too much certainty is boredom. But with too much uncertainty you become extremely nervous and concerned. You again seek a degree of certainty . Two sides of the same coin but you keep toggling between the two sides, causing a roller coaster ride in the flow and rhythm of your life.
Second paradox: As a physical being, you are the only one of your kind, absolutely unique and individualistic. At the same time, as a spiritual being, the spirit of life that enlivens you is also the same spirit that enlivens all. So, spiritually you are con nected to one and all. Both individuality and connectivity are needed to complete life. And, that's the second paradox.
As a unique individual, you need identity . You need significance. If you don't find the right ways to feel significant, the sheer desperation to fulfil this need might even propel you to choose wrong ways to feel significant. Some people try to stand out by developing extreme problems that setup extreme problems that set them apart from others. From dressing in certain ways to carrying a certain style, all stem from this need. But, when your trumpet is too loud, others will begin to withdraw from you.
That's why you lose out on relationships; at least, people begin to distance themselves.
Now you feel separated. Now you feel lonely and isolated. So, you crave for connectedness.
You want to be cared for and cared about. You want to feel one with the crowd. To meet this need, you join a fraternity or a club. Once you feel connected, you will again feel as if you have lost your own identity in a crowd.And, the seesaw of being tossed from one need to another only continues.
Third paradox: Life is a flow and this flow is achieved through possessing and sharing. Both having and giving are needed to complete life. And, that's the third paradox. The need to have and the need to give; the need to consume and the need to contribute; the need for accumulation and the need for renunciation. The toss is between selfishness (instinctive) and unselfishness (conscience). And, the oscillation is between being spiritual in giving and being materialistic in having.
While everything you do will be tossed between these paradoxes, if you can find a few activities in your life, which fulfils all six needs and gives you that balance in life, you will discover a new zeal in life ... That's the secret to a complete life.